Extended Family

As our e-mails of good wishes floated around this anniversary week, I was struck that in going to China to adopt a baby, we extended our family in more than one way -- we now have amazing new friends that have become part of our extended family. Each trip is pure fun for all of us.

Ru's First Anniversary

Our family day celebration extended to the weekend -- travelling to Los Angles to be with our dear friends who were with us in that crowded and chaotic room where our lives changed forever. Each of these girls is so very precious, and each is thriving in their perfect family. We shared laughter and tears as we viewed our (newly edited!) video from that first week and marvelled at the changes in those babies who are now little girls that are talking, running, and most importantly, loving. Each visit they get more and more interactive -- note Maxine giving Helen a kazoo lesson!

Saturday Night Streakers

Saturday Night Streakers
Originally uploaded by Chris & Kelly.

Last week there was a New York Time article that focused on three teenaged girls adopted in the "first wave" from China -- way before there were thousands every year. Each girl had a different take on their cross cultural identity. Although it was not the focus of the article, a theme that resonated was how important the girls' friendship was to each other. So it was with absoute joy that we watched our girls frolic together as we celebrated our one year together as Ru families.

Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping Beauty
Originally uploaded by Chris & Kelly.

And one year later... she still takes our breath away. One arm up and one arm down. Still those precious lips. Still wondering whether she'll sleep for 10 minutes or 10 hours and still hoping for 10 hours straight! Wondering what visions are dancing through her head. Looking forward to every new day and the discoveries that it will bring. Grateful for the magic that lead us down this path to this little girl. Grateful for the amazing people who accompanied us on the journey (happy first anniversary Ru's!) and those who are in Helen's extended family. Xie Xie from the bottom of our hearts.

First Night 2005

Beauty Rest
Originally uploaded by Chris & Kelly.

Oh that first night when you see your child freshly bathed, fed, bundled, and tucked in with love. Look at those cheeks -- those precious lips! Is she still breathing??? Will she sleep for 10 hours or 10 minutes? Boy were we mislead when she slept for 10 hours straight (something never to be reapeated in the next year!)

Having a drink and feeling happy!

Having a drink and feeling happy!
Originally uploaded by Chris & Kelly.

One year later... Still finds comfort in large sized beverages! In fact we had a royal battle tonight over having apple juice before bedtime.

The smile says it all. She isn't a smile-all-the-time kid, but when she does, it is radiant. She seems to share our sense of humor. In this photo she is laughing because she is sitting on (squishing) her buddy "Cookies".

Having a drink and feeling nervous...

Having a drink and feeling nervous...
Originally uploaded by Chris & Kelly.

Those first few minutes of holding this sobbing child were exhilerating and heartbreaking. She was so frightened. But hunger trumped fear, and she warily drank away, stealing glances at me as she drank along. The shear exhaustion of this day kicked in and she literally passed out into a deep sleep only minutes after being handed to us. I've heard from other parents that you really learn everything about your child that first day, or even first few minutes -- and I'd have to agree. Helen was not afraid to let us know how she felt, yet showed cautious optimism that this might all work out okay.

Family Day 2006

Family Day 2006
Originally uploaded by Chris & Kelly.

One year later... Dinner in Taiwan (Restaurant, that is!) Helen is still a very good eater. Loves tofu. Loves shrimp, and all types of meat. Really loves noodles. Will try just about anything. (Even got her to try rhubarb the other night, which she loved too.)

Helen lives completely in the moment and is always fully present with us. Her manners and greetings are just now starting to become habit. "Bleshoo Mama" she says when I sneeze. "Bye Bye Doggies" she is saying everytime she leaves the house. Wo ai ni Ru Q -- We love you!

Family Day 2005

First Family Photo
Originally uploaded by Chris & Kelly.

And the next thing we knew, we were parents to the most amazing girl! Helen Ruquan was spirited right from the very beginning. ("Spirited" is the new word I've learned for very determined!) And thank goodness for that. The changes shes been through in such a short time is amazing, and she continues to grow, thrive, love, and learn.

Flight Path

Flight Path
Originally uploaded by Chris & Kelly.

Our early flight to Wuhan was uneventful but highly charged. I kept on thinking of the Lisa Ling's National Geographic video about "the day" and found that it provided a lot of comfort to have visualized it in that way before.

Dragonfly Eve 2005

Dragonfly Eve 2005
Originally uploaded by Chris & Kelly.

On this day last year, we were pacing the floors of the Garden Hotel in Guangzhou anxiously waiting for the morning to arrive so that we could fly to Wuhan and meet Helen.

This photo depicts a somewhat bizarre occurance of someone walking up to me and asking if I would be in their picture. As much as I always feel that I'm "fitting in", this was evidence that we all stood out! Must have been the pre-parenthood glow!

New Friend, New Haircut

New Friend, New Haircut
Originally uploaded by Chris & Kelly.

Welcome home Ryleigh Teague! It was so wonderful to meet you. It was especially nice to see you settling in so well.

Helen was a little off today. First there was the fact that her parents were both exhausted from the last week. Then there was Helen's asthma reminding us that it's always lurking just below the surface. Then there was the decision that Helen MUST have a haircut before another week went by...

The last few haircuts have been a disaster -- a contest between the Helen and the haircutter for who was going to feel worse about the whole thing. So, on the recommendation of a friend we went to Kindercuts where they lure in toddlers on the premise of being able to sit in a race car. Well, that part worked. Helen couldn't wait to sit in the race car. But, when the scissors appeared, it was back to screaming bloody murder with a two handed, white-knuckled grasp on Baba's shirt while trying to bury her head into his bellybutton. The scene managed to turn the once-tranquil salon into a cry-fest since all the other kids reacted in kind to Helen's wails. Somehow the haircut happened. It's pretty cute, all things considered, with only a few stray areas that aren't quite matching up. At least we can no longer be accused of being intentional about Helen's 70's shag!

Will Pose for Pasta

Will Pose for Pasta
Originally uploaded by Chris & Kelly.

Friday night date night for me & Suzanne. Oh yeah, and our 3 kids!

We have a wonderful tradition with the Nilsons where we share our evenings of being single parents. It sure does put a positive spin on the situation, and the kids love that we we are so engaged in conversation that we ignore their antics -- like sitting on top of the booths and jumping on the cusions.

The Toddler Area at Cost Plus (?!)

Cheers!
Originally uploaded by Chris & Kelly.

Over the last few weeks, stores have begun to open at our new neighborhood "Target" anchored retail center (something we've been anticipating ever since Target became such an important part of our life!) This is a worlds colliding experience since my job includes recruiting new retail to San Jose, including Downtown. As I recently explained to a reporter, it is important to be able to live, work, SHOP, and play within close proximity to one another. It's called quality of life.

Beijing Memories

Beijing Memories
Originally uploaded by Chris & Kelly.

It's hard to even recreate the people we were 365 days ago. On 3/14/05, we arrived in Beijing tired and excited beyond belief. As we wandered the alleys and streets, we peeked around every corner as if we were on a treasure hunt -- every scene providing a clue about our future.

We have been extra emotional approaching this anniversary. I think that Helen intrinsically feels this anniversary too, perhaps remembering some of the trauma that surrounded such a major life change, even if it was for the good. She has been extra clingy lately, and easily spooked (by shadows, by loud noises...) by many things that never used to bother her. While her language is exploding, she is challenging some of her routines. Much of this can be attributable to being two years old, but I am trying to be sensitive to the fact that, like us, she may feel in her bones the prepartions that were taking place a year ago as she was being readied to meet her forever family.

Shark Attack!

Shark Attack!
Originally uploaded by Chris & Kelly.

Helen's first Sharks game went so well that we decided to try another one. For weeks now she has been proudly demonstrating her "chomp". True to form, she was determined not use this new skill in the context of an actual game! We did make it through Cheechoo's hat trick early in the 3rd period before making a quick exit where we happened to bump into SJ Sharkie. This was sort of a like a Santa experience, with Helen being none to pleased to make his acquaintence in such close proximity.

A-Maze-ing Discovery

Maze
Originally uploaded by Chris & Kelly.

Helen weaves her way through a maze at the Bay Area Discovery Museum on Sunday with Lindy. The girls & their respective Baba's had a fun rainy-day outing.

I took the opportunity to see a few Chinese films at Cinequest which featured some wonderful productions -- "Rice Rhapsody" (taking place in Singapore's Chinatown, and starring Martin Yan!) and "Dam Street", taking place in a picturesque small town in Sichuan. I'm hoping to see a documentary on Mao this Sunday.

Lions...

Lions!
Originally uploaded by Chris & Kelly.

In a beautiful break between storms, we visited the Oakland Zoo for the first time with Hannah, Jim, Lindy & Griff. It was great to know that our Happy Hollow membership gets us in for free. For Helen, this was her first glimpse of large animals like Lions, Tigers, Camels, Elephants and Zebras. Every children's book is chalk full of these creatures, so it was fun to see her react to them in person. She also had her first Ethiopian meal. That wasn't as thrilling for her, but hey, we tried!

And Elephants, Oh My!

Hey, did you see the elephant?
Originally uploaded by Chris & Kelly.

Helen explains to Griff that "E" is for Elephant. (And "F" is for Fish... and so on!)