Pink Masquerade

Pink Masquerade
Originally uploaded by Chris & Kelly.

When I look at photos over the last four years, I can see the shift from the first half to the second half by the width of the grin. Helen's face looks like this most of the time. It almost makes me forget how serious she looked at the beginning of our relationship.

I also like to forget that we went through a long period of "rages" that were triggered by certain things, or seemingly, by nothing at all. They've become less and less frequent to the point of almost never. However, I can almost guarantee that one will come on, or near our anniversary. It is a poignant reminder that while this is a celebration for us as parents, it is much more complicated (even if subliminally) for Helen.

Like many adoptive parents we walk a fine line of acknowledging our forever family day and our unconditional love, while respecting that there are complicated feelings surrounding it. We play it low-key. Every year I pick out a book that relates to family, birth culture, or another meaningful aspect of our relationship.

This year I bought a book that was a favorite of Helen's from the library -- "Beautiful Warrior" which tells the story of a female Shaolin monk who helps a young girl find her qi. Helen relates strongly with this story, even though it is a little more intense than what I would choose. I do love that she feels empowered by it, and she seems to crave untraditional role models that transcend gender expectations.

For an adult family day gift, we bought ourselves a copy of "Adopted" a new movie by Point Made Films (which you can only by directly from their website.) It is amazing. It is hard. It is absolutely a must-watch documentary that contrasts the story of an adult Korean adoptee and a prospective parents adopting from China. It renewed our ongoing commitment to struggling through the issues of being a transracial family, and validates our instincts that we can't be pro-active enough in talking about/addressing race and adoption.

We have yet to tackle the accompanying disc that provides two hours of "experts' advice" for transracial families. I'm so grateful we have PACT workshops in Oakland so we can work through this with other families. I'm grateful for the families we stay connected with that share this journey. I'm grateful for the support of our extended family and friends. I'm grateful for my immediate, amazing family of three that I love so much, and the richness of our life together.

Sailing Through Four Years in the Blink of an Eye

Tree Swing
Originally uploaded by Chris & Kelly.

Four years (or 1,400 days ago) we had arrived in China -- and so it's my annual time to reflect on what has transpired between then and now.

In this photo, Helen is trying out her new birthday tree swing which is (crazy enough) the first affixed play apparatus to appear in our yard. It is not a coincidence that it appears at the same time that Helen can help us with doggie clean-up. There are so many things Helen can do and will do from dishes, to cooking prep, to rolling out the trash every week. She is eager to do what everyone else is doing, and does so with a generous and determined spirit.

Helen treats every day as an adventure. Her first word when she woke up today was "yipee"! She remembered that she was going to her first tennis lesson, and was beside herself with excitement. After it was over, she dialed up her grandparents to report on how much she loved it.

Above all, Helen is motivated by relationships -- with her friends, with her family, and with her broader circle of community. In the last year she has fully blossomed into a social butterfly. She purposefully guides our neighborhood jaunts so she might run into someone she knows. (She is very much her father's daughter in this regard!) She is her mother's daughter in the her use of logic, her energy, her love of words/books/stories/new vocabulary.

Intensity is word that has described our adoption experience from day one. The experience leading up to Helen was intense, and upon meeting her, the intensity was dialed up a few notches. Her normal mode is to be present 150%, and we are still running to keeping up with her desire to learn, to be active, to understand things.

Helen is mostly a blur on her new swing. I know that with each pump of the legs, and arch of the back the time will blur even more. She is stronger, quicker, more agile. We treasure each of these freeze frames -- the moments where we stare in disbelief at the picture that is emerging of a growing, caring, wondrous child who is ever more present in her world, and continually enhancing ours.

Happy Girls Day 2009

Happy Girls Day 2009
Originally uploaded by Chris & Kelly.

Baba volunteered to take photos for Girls & Boys day this year, and the results were fantastic.

Helen looks so poised this year, as did all her friends. I guess they really are ready to head to kindergarten in the fall.

Pizza Perfection

Pizza Perfection
Originally uploaded by Chris & Kelly.

Of all the field trips Helen has been on (and there have been many) her favorite, bar none, is.... Pizza My Heart. She was very proud of her pizza creation, half of which she dedicated to Baba's favorite toppings.

Helen Spins some Dough

Helen Spins some Dough
Originally uploaded by Chris & Kelly.

There were several memorable moments in this trip -- spinning the dough, screaming in the walk-in cooler, and squirting out the special sauce. All of these memories add up to marketing genius. Helen has become the #1 fan of this joint, and we've been dragged twice in the last week to sample more product. (Poor us!)

Sort of Like Being the Prom King & Queen

Sort of Like Being the Prom King & Queen
Originally uploaded by Chris & Kelly.

We co-hosted preschool party at Pump-It-Up this weekend for Helen and her friend Jack who share February birthdays. Helen couldn't dive into that big chair fast enough and gave up most of her pizza time to lounge around as the birthday queen. Jack requested a "Cars" cake, which suited Helen just fine. This weekend we also saw "Joseph and the Technicolor Dream Coat" at CMT. I'm suspicious that Helen developed a crush on Joseph, because she made us wait by the backstage door after the performance so we could see him leave (reminding me of U2 concerts when I was in college...)