"She has a lot of energy..." We've noticed this about Helen for years now, but it was amusing to hear this from one of her preschool teachers. After all, they have a long list of kids for comparison!
On the school front, I took a great class from PACT this weekend about adoption and schools. I thought I would have until Kindergarten to think about the implications of our particular situation, but what I've found is that even preschool opens the floodgates.
This was confirmed when we talked about where preschoolers are developmentally -- everything is about "sorting" and "matching". Kids automatically sort their environments, and our family may not look like it "matches" -- something we will have to be prepared to talk about.
Thank goodness for resources, and friends to help process everything. Here are some of my take-aways...
- Ask your teacher if they have any curriculum around family issues (baby photos, family tree etc.) -- the idea is to have advance warning so you have the opportunity to talk about this in advance with your child. And, should you take the opportunity to be a speaker on adoption, ask if there are other children who might be affected.
- Behavior is a child's #1 language, so if you notice a big change or outburst, there is something else there that needs to be explored.
We spent time talking about choosing a school. Like most parents in the room, we don't know what that next school choice will be and there is so much stress around the decision. We made a list of things that are important -- including, "good fit", atmosphere, learning style, curriculum, peer groups, diversity, parent involvement, language acquisition, etc... The conclusion: there is no perfect school. And, you have to be flexible because what you think is the best school might not end up being the perfect one. (That takes some of the pressure off!)
A couple books that I picked up:
"Talking with Young Children about Adoption" (Mary Watkins and Susan Fisher) -- KEY MESSAGE -- early, often, and developmentally appropriate.
And, "Adoption and the Schools" Resources for Parents and Teachers, edited by Lansing Wood and Nancy Ng (www.fairfamilies.org).
